Checking in...

I have been feeling a little overwhelmed and down about life this past week. It could very well just be the after the holiday blues. I just feel so inadequate sometimes. That, along with having a sore throat again just put me into a bit of a funk. Oh well, hopefully it will pass soon.

Paige started preschool today. With the money you have sent we are able to pay for it and she is as pleased as punch. She is such a social little thing. I walked her into class today and showed her around. I then asked if she wanted me to stay or leave and she quickly told me I can leave. The teachers told me that she acted as if she had always been a part of the group...talking to everyone, putting on dance shows. She makes me laugh and she makes me proud.

Then we get home and she whines and demands...she will point her finger at me and scold me when she doesn't like what I am doing...oh the joys of a three year old.

J has been delightful this week. I forgot to set my alarm last night and we woke today 15 minutes before J had to be at school. We all worked together though and he was able to dress, eat, get a lunch made and get to school on time. Thank heavens Douglas was here to help! Jackson has been happy and on Tuesday he wanted to surprise me so he went around and collected all the trash on his own (his chore that day). He also wanted to clean his room and surprise me the other day. It is so nice when he is in good spirits.

The snow is coming down. It is beautiful and so far the cold doesn't bother me too much, though I really need to get more thermal garments and warm socks!! We are planning to go to the temple Saturday and I am hoping they have a distribution center by the temple. If not, I will have to order online, though I have heard the shipping is really slow.

I am so thrilled for Holly and Christian. I will go out next Thursday and take newborn photos of their little guy. It will be nice to have time to spend with everyone without the responsibility of the kids. Douglas will stay here (he has no class fridays) and will try to study when he can. It will be tough, but he is always supportive and I think he is really hoping to find more balance this semester. Let's hope.

I am constantly torn as to whether I want to run my business anymore. I love it, but it really adds a lot of stress and anxiety in my life, which spills over into how I parent. I feel that I am doing something wrong if I don't work. But, I know I am not. I am just so much happier when I can focus on being a mom and running a house. I need to give it some real prayer and thinking. Maybe I will just do what comes, when it does and not look for work. I don't know.

Sorry if I sound like Debbie Downer. I try not to be this way. It affects the whole house when I am. Douglas and I started Weight Watchers again and I feel grouchy about not being able to eat comfort food :). I have the happy thought of knowing I am heading out to visit soon. The kids are thrilled and it will be such a nice time.