So, here it is. I know there will be many differing and strong opionions on this subject. I will lay out the facts, and my opinions. Then I would love to hear what all of you think about the matter. Then I will tell you what decision I made.
I am a firm believer that all babies that are healthy can be trained to sleep through the night. By 14 weeks I think all babies can be sleeping at least 8 hours if not longer. Both of my babies were sleeping a good 12 hours by about 12-14 weeks. People say I am lucky to have great babies, but I also think it is because I teach my babies to sleep. I am not saying I am an amazing mother, I just follow a philosophy called "The Baby Whisperer" and it has been magic with getting my babies to sleep, eat and play on a schedule. It is my sanity. I can't function without a little predicatbility. That being said I have to say that I am really against the idea of letting a child "cry it out". I will let Paige cry for a few minutes until she finds her thumb and gets to sleep, but seriously, it kills me to listen to my babies cry.
So here is the situation: over a week ago P had the stomach flu--you know the whole throwing up, diarreah bit that no mother wants their little baby to have. Because she was sick she started waking in the night and I would feed her. I don't know if she was actually hungry or just needed comfort, but when my kids are sick I will give them what they want and need. So fast forward a week...P is healthy and still waking up one or two times a night. She wants to eat. Period. She wants her mommy and a boobie and nothing else. Is she hungry? Doubt it. Does she want comfort? Probably. I kept thinking it would pass, but it didn't. I was getting exhausted and cranky. Something had to be done. So I came up with a plan.
Yesterday with the time change P's routine was a little out of whack. That necessitated an extra feeding during the day. I figured that it was a perfect opportunity to get a few extra calories in her body and make sure she had enough to get her through the night. I also gave her two bowls of rice cereal.
7 pm came around and I fed and put the kids to bed. I am just about to settle down for a long winter's nap around 11pm (way too late) and what do I hear?? My sweet little P crying. I gave her a few minutes to see if she would settle down. She would and then a few minutes later she would start up again. Had it been 2 am I probably would have just gotten up and fed her, but it had only been 4 hours. She goes 4 hours during the day, most certainly she can go longer (much longer) than that at night. What to do?? D and I discussed this at length as we lied in bed not sleeping because P was crying. It wasn't a pained cry. It wasn't a hungry cry. It was a MAD cry. I knew that if I went in there it would reinforce that if she cries I come in, yet at the same time, I really don't want her to feel abandoned or whatever else. Honestly, it was killing me to hear her cry.
What would you do?
6 comments:
I am probably not the one to ask...I got up at least 3 times a night to nurse Hayden until he was 22 months old (hanging my head in shame). As it turned out he had an undiagnosed problem with his ears and nursing relieved the pressure. I didn't know that at the time but I would have felt AWFUL if I had let him cry it out only to find out there was a reason for him getting up all along.
I am one who will get up with a baby whenever they cry--one to avoid feeling guilty and two because I know in the whole scheme of things the phase is usually short lived. I don't need a lot of sleep though...I say whatever works for you though.
I am actually a fan of the "crying it out method". Jonathon and Ashton only cried two nights before they got it down. Brianne just figured it out on her own. They are all great sleepers.
My kids only started waking up in the night when they were going through a growth spurt. Luckily, those were very short-lived. I hope Paige goes back to sleeping well again. Do what works for you.
I think you should move a mattress in to her room and just sleep with her for about . . . hmmm . .. the next 10 years. That would solve the problem. Maybe even just prop yourself up over the crib so she can pull up and grab a snack whenever she wants?? Surely you don't want her to feel abandoned or unloved? Really, what is most important thing here Mommy? Crying it out = SELFISH. Constant sleepless nights = TRUE SAINTED MOTHERHOOD.
(seriously, just do what you can. It probably means CIO some nights and going in on others. You gotta use you momma-instinct. There isn't a catchall answer because sometimes they just need you, no matter what the age)
good thing sarah weston is a friend, i would hate to see what comments she writes if she doesn't like you! LOL
hard call chica. pacifier? you get up but no boobie for her? each night will be different. good luck amiga!
You could try the go in every ten min and hold her, pat her back and put her back down so she knows you care but she not getting the snack? I don't know.. it's been five years for me so I feel pretty out of practice!
I read the baby whisperer too, and loved it! I also read baby wise. Both books have helped me a lot. Bentley still wakes up once at night. (Only after I started putting rice cereal in his 6:00 feed!) But I haven't let him cry it out yet. I know it gets so frustrating! Us mommies need our sleep.
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