so, tomorrow is my mom's last day living here in Santa Clara. She has spent the last 10 months living across the street from me and now that Greg is home from his mission she is heading to D.C. to join my dad who has been living there since July. My dad was offered a position in the foreign service and so, although they came out to Southern Utah to build their retirement home, another adventure has presented itself. They will be in D.C. until February and then they will head to Guatemala City for their assignment.
I have avoided thinking about this change for quite some time, but as I was lying awake in bed tonight I couldn't help but reminisce about the past 10 months. I also couldn't help but feel tremendously sad. It has been such a blessing for Douglas, our children and me to have my parents so close by. And then I started thinking about the next two years and being so far from them. Even when they were in CA I saw them at least every other month. You think that as you get older your need for your parents diminishes, but I have found that it has changed and grown in so many ways. My mom is truly one of my closest friends. It has been so nice having her close. I would drop by just to break the monotony of the day. We would go to lunch on a whim. We would work on projects together. She would rescue me when I just couldn't handle my dear Jackson anymore. She always helped me see the bright side of things (which sometimes I hated when I wanted to be grumpy about something). She would fold my never ending stacks of laundry. We went on shopping trips together, we watched movies together. She was there when both kids were born.She is a dear friend and my mom. It will be sad for me as I adjust to losing something so meaningful in my life.
And, I feel sad for my kids. Jackson adores his "nana". He will wonder where she went. Paige will grow so fast and my parents will miss it. This makes me so sad. I will have to do my best to share our lives with them even when they are far away. It is so hard when things happen that you know are good, yet they make your heart feel so empty. I don't mean to sound cheesy about it, but I honestly feel like there is a hole in my heart. I hate being the one left behind.
So, what will I do, I don't know. Right now I just need to cry and feel sad about it...something I have not let myself do until now.
1 comment:
okay, this post made ME get misty eyed and it isn't even my mom! and my shoulder is always available to cry on . . . i can 100% sympathize with the parents being a million miles away situation.
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